Changed My Look

Hey everyone! I did not like the plain look of the site and after much searching I was able to find a template that I really liked. I hope that you like it too. If you have any suggestions as to what you would like to see on the blog, I am open to suggestions. I will have a post up soon.

-Brian

Dashboard Delights

Summer in the South is something that you experience. It is something you think you are looking forward to when you are bundled up in the winter. When the summer actually hits, it is not anything you actually want to endure. Anyone who has lived in the South knows what I am talking about. The heat does not so much surround you as it hangs off of you. You feel it in every pore and fiber of your being. What the sun doesn't get to, the humidity does.


I remember when I was a younger man living in the South, I had a piece of fried chicken. I know what you are probably thinking… "Fried chicken in the South; how cliché!" Well, clichés happen for a reason, so let me get on with my story. I sat my piece of chicken in the dashboard of a friend's car while we went indoors to do something. I do not remember at this time what we were doing, but I am sure it is wholly unimportant to the direction of the story, so just get it out of your head. The important thing is that when I returned to the car, the chicken was crispy and delicious like it had just been removed from the grease.


Being an adventurous guy, I ventured a bite into the chicken. It was by far the best tasting piece of reheated chicken I had ever tasted. Little did I know I was being green in the days before being green was cool. From that day forward I tried all manner of foods in the dashboard for a reheat. I even kept a log of the different kinds of foods, the temperature on the mercury and the model of the car. I even mentioned the direction of the car and the tint of the window. I tried front dash, back window and even the seat. I became a dashboard foodie.


As it turned out, the optimal environment for reheating foods was on the front dashboard of a black, Lincoln Town Car facing in the northwestern direction in the later part of the day when the temperature is between 95 and 105 degrees outside. The effect was like putting food in a 350 degree oven. Pop something thing the dash and come back later for a delicious treat. While I did not get many people to catch on to my food craze, it did give people food for thought the next time they were about to leave their dog in the car while they ran inside for a few groceries.

Returning to the Classics

Stories these days are all about twists and unexpected endings. They do not take the long-winded approach that they used to. This is partly because of the short attention span that many have these days. They do not want to deal with a long story because it means they will need to make a huge time investment. The bad part about this is the more of a time investment you make in something, the more you get out of it.


Take for example when you read a really long story like Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens. Now, most people just do not have the patience for Charles Dickens and his windy approach to literature anyways. Then you take into account all of the forgotten references or local slang and you have a book which is difficult to read. However, once you get about 500 – 600 pages into the story you are completely invested. You are now a part of that world and you are in tune with the characters. The only bad part about reading a really long story like that is that after a week or a month, depending on your reading speed, you are left feeling lost and wishing there was more.


The bulk of modern fiction published today as novels is between 300 – 500 pages. This allows readers to easily finish books in a few days rather than a few weeks. While it may feel satisfying to have a stack of books that you have read on your nightstand, consider nourishing your sole instead. Feed your imagination by allowing yourself to become engrossed in a story that is well crafted. While yo will still be able to enjoy the works of modern fiction authors, you are likely to find yourself yearning for the classic style of the longer works.


The blog is an even further truncated version of what is happening in the modern world of fiction. However, the great thing about blogs is that they allow you to become engrossed in a world that seems to go on and on. Tune in every day and there is a new chapter that you can read. You can return days later and have many postings that you can read all at once. The modern blog is a broken up version of what the classic novel stylings used to embrace. So, check in often and let's see where this rabbit hole takes you.

Seeing With Morning Eyes

In the morning light everything tends to look different. Things that were scary the night before look tame and boring with the new morning. It is always interesting to observe your surroundings when you wake up in the morning. Think about all those times you went camping and were nervous about the way a few branches looked like a web filled with spiders. Spooky noises might keep you up throughout the night. When you get up the next morning everything looks fresh and clean without a thing to worry about. The big difference is when you wake up with a hangover.


This is what happened to Rick Artright. He woke up one morning after having been out drinking all night the night before. He met beautiful people and hung out in the swankiest of clubs. He even went to a beautiful woman's house and hung out in her million dollar pad. But, that is not what he woke up in. The shower was running and he was scared to see what would come out of the shower. He scanned the scene around him and saw dingy walls with trash everywhere and panicked that in his drunken stupor he might have made a terrible decision.


Panicked, Rick ran from the scene as fast as his legs would take him. He was not leaving anything to chance. If there was the possibility that he could get away, he was taking advantage of it as soon as possible. With shirt and pants barely on, shoes in hand and socks in his pocket, Rick was out the door and on the street. Luckily, he was in the city so he could easily catch a cab. Since his wallet was in his pocket and still had cash in it he hailed the first thing moving that he saw and was free.


Meanwhile back in the apartment a beautiful woman emerged from the shower and surveyed the damage that was done to her room by the guy she met the night before. Even though the room was a mess, there was one thing that was already looking up. The guy that she met the night before - that had turned out to be an uglier, harrier and smellier version of the fun, handsome devil she thought she had brought home - was gone. She noticed the cab pulling away and at the same moment she and Rick shared a collective sigh of relief that they had really dodged a bullet.

The Society of Non-Society

The harsh reality of the world is nothing that people want to deal with on a daily basis. This has led many people to use drugs or to drop out of society. While these are certainly options, it seems like a much better idea to start your own society. This is exactly what William Bobble did in 1832. He was tired of everything that he had to deal with in the modern society of his day. He put out an ad in the local paper and found a few dozen people that felt the same way that he did. Thus, the Society of Non-Society was born.


The first rule of the Society of Non-Society was that you had to quit your job in an elaborate way. This was in a time when people did not just storm off of a job because they were fed up. So, when people just started flipping over counting machines and announcing to the boss exactly where he could stick his low wage, it gathered a lot of attention. The point was to make sure that the society would be ignored because no one would want anything to do with the members. At this, they were highly effective.


The next step that William Bobble put into effect was to make sure that the society had everything it needed to be able to start over in a new society. The members of the Society of Non-Society purchased everything they needed to be able to start a garden. They also bought different animals that they could use for breeding and for food. In addition, they purchased all the implements they would need in order to dig deep into the earth. With this, they had everything that they needed to move on to a new world.


In order to break ties completely with the old world, the members of the Society of Non-Society each burned their homes to the ground while dancing in the front lawn naked and painted blue. Those that were not arrested and held for mental observation met back at the rendezvous point so they could move along with the next step in the plan.


Over the course of the next year, the society dug through the earth and created vast underground caverns which they were to use as a living environment. These were created so that they would not represent the old world. This was so that they would be able to start the new society with a new attitude and a new mindset. After they entered their underground caverns, not much is known about what happened.


In 1963, the underground caverns were discovered and all of the materials that were present were more advanced than anything that was presently in use. As it turns out, when the distractions and pressures of society are removed, it helps to focus the mind on the projects you are on. It is believed that the society believed that they were now too advanced for the society that even they had created and transported themselves into the future. All that is left behind is the remnants of a society that valued thought and imagination more than anything else.

Checking Out My New Blog

Hey guys!

I am working on a new blog to work with in addition to this one. It is a blog about herb gardening. I really like what I am working on over there and would love for everyone to check it out. It is located at http://friendlyherbgardening.blogspot.com/. I hope you will check out the new blog and let me know what you think. I am in the process of making a blog which will be informative for you and fun for me to write.

I will be adding a new blog post to this account soon. It seems like it has been way too long without a new fiction posting, so I will get on here soon with something fun.

Laughing at Yourself

In this new age of self indulgent people, there is less of a tendency to laugh at oneself. This is a tragedy! I have my own style of joke telling called the "solid gold". Every time I tell one of these jokes, they are solidified with a pumping of the fits and the hefting of the words, "SOLID GOLD!" Mind you, these jokes are not funny in their own right. They are more funny to me. I punctuate the jokes with a silly movement in order to garner more laughs.

I am under no delusions that I am a hilarious individual. I merely hope to entertain myself most of the time. This is not an extremely difficult endeavor as I find all of my jokes hilarious. If I am the only one laughing, than so be it. I will laugh all the harder to make up for your lack of laughing. Should this embarrass me? Who cares? I don't! More people need to have this attitude.

By laughing at yourself, you cut down the need to take anti-depressants. You become more fun to be around. Most importantly, I will not feel so all alone in this great big world we all live in. So, the next time you tell a joke and nobody else laughs, pump your fist and yell "SOLID GOLD!" You may get some stares, but at least you will be entertained. Smile knowing I am laughing with you.